i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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