But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
