Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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