toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
