this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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