My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
