i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
