I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
