is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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