ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
