New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
