She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
