I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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