So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I am naked and annoyed.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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