I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
