im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
