Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
