i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my being single is dangerous.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize