I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i think my mom watched the whole time
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
