honey bunches of taint.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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