wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize