the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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