Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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