I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize