I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
