So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
