saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
