My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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