I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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