i think i have herpe
just one?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I smell like Dick and happiness
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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