Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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