Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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