He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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