My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
