Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
