i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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