okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
