I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
wow bdsm is so cute
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
