im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
