yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize