Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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