You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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