so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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