Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
