I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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