Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
