If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
