summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
then he tried to convert me to islam
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
