i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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