i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
