Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
