I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
