He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
