Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
