God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
