I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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