remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So here I am, sexting at work.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
